Happy Ferris Wheel Day!

Hello Sweetums! I hope you are all having a wonderful day, the most magically saccharine of all the days, Ferris Wheel Day. A holiday that truly warrants no celebration or acknowledgement beyond the 90 seconds of your life it suspends you above a rolling fairground of carnies, clowns, and children vomiting into cotton candy.

Another holiday very similar to this is Valentine’s Day, a time designated to force you to formally engage in or recognize THE IMPORTANCE OF ROMANCE. Whether you have a terrifically boring time on a Ferris Wheel or a terrifically boring time at Bed, Bath, and Beyond picking out a new bed in a bag with your fiancé, there really isn’t a point in assigning a specific day to celebrate either. The point is to commemorate life’s terrifically boring, scary, sweet, vertigo-induced, and yes, even romantically-induced moments, every day.

So, you have probably figured out by now I forgot to buy my husband a Ferris Wheel Day AND Valentine’s Day cards. 

But in my defense, I really do believe that setting aside a special day for giant, round death traps and giant, heart-shaped crap is not necessary because I inject sweet, sweet romance into my poor, poor partner all the time. He is regularly regaled with smooth seductions such as, 

"No, my love, that wasn't Dora.”* 

“Darling, can you massage some triamcinolone cream into the excemza patch on my back?"

"Hey baby, how about we head upstairs
and binge watch Michael Palin's Around
the World in 80 Days?"

“Baby, we gotta go to Walgreens, Dora* ate my mouthguard."

"I am weak in the knees, it feels like I've got butterflies in my stomach and my heart aches. I think it might be cancer."

“Honeybuns, what is a 4 letter word for "upholstered item?”**

“Sweetie, can you help me get out of this dress? The zipper is caught on my Spanx."

“Sorry dear, I’ll go brush my teeth." 

“Let’s never get matching tattoos."

See, I am a natural romantic! Every day is like opening a box of chocolates. Too bad my husband prefers cake. 

Thanks for putting up with me, lovey. Too many wrongs do make a right! XOXO

*Dora.

**Sofa.