7.11.2010

Kick MS in the teeth. Get some shit.

Hello my gorgeous, sexy, brilliant, and GENEROUS friends! How are you? Are you feeling pretty good right now because you do not have Multiple Sclerosis (MS)? If so, I hope you will continue reading on behalf of the 400,000+ people in the US who would have answered "no."

MS is a raging whorebag that needs to be stopped. It is often times a debilitating disease that comes out of fucking nowhere to kick the shit out of your central nervous system. And once the fucker shows up, it never goes away. It's not genetic, it's not caused by having a great lifestyle (ie, drinking or smoking or McDonald's eating your brains out), and it's not caused by any co-morbidities (eg, other shite diseases). The humper just shows up--totally uninvited--and basically vomits all over your brain and spinal cord so your limbs go numb or you lose your vision or you're paralyzed. Oh and did I mention there is no cure? DAMN YOU MS!!!

I fucking hate MS so much I am going to wear a spandex diaper and bicycle 150 miles over 2 days to help run over this hot pile of shit of a disease. I will be attempting this for the 3rd year in a row September 25 & 26 in the National MS Society's "City to Shore" ride.

But I need your help in bitch-slapping MS in one of 2 ways:

1. Join my fucking super cool team and ride with us! Click on this blue line for details, then search for "Chain Gang"

2. Sponsor my ridiculously long yet extremely rewarding ride in September through a donation to the National MS Society so they can continue their research and advocacy efforts.

As an added incentive to helping out really sick people, I am offering the following prizes for different levels of donation:

Up to $20: personalized e-mail sent directly to you expressing my gratitude for your awesomeness

$25 - $45: personalized e-mail PLUS a dedicated Facebook status update that expresses my gratitude for your awesomeness and is guaranteed to increase your sexual appeal and popularity*

$50: personalized e-mail PLUS Facebook status update PLUS a personalized blog about your awesomeness**

over $75: personalized e-mail PLUS Facebook status update PLUS a personalized blog about your awesomeness PLUS a mix CD

If you can help out in any way, it is really, Really, REALLY appreciated. Click Here to link to my donation page.

so thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU for your time and support!!!!
xo




*Facebook status update can be substituted for an e-mail blast if you are not on Facebook. MySpace not accepted.

**Note the blog will follow the already established "all a little bit true sometimes but not really" format.

6.18.2010

FDA Panel Votes Down Libido-Boosting Drug for Women

FDA Panel Votes Down Libido-Boosting Drug for Women
GAITHERSBURG, Md. -- An FDA advisory committee has voted unanimously that the makers of the investigational drug flibanserin (Girosa) -- often dubbed the female Viagra -- failed to prove that the pill treats hypoactive sexual-desire disorder in women any better than placebo.


HA. HA. HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuck yeah I could have told you that. OH I DID! I DID!! Well sort of...my comments were more about the screener developed to detect if you have "not-tonight-honey-headaches" in a desparate market conditioning move, and not about the drug itelf...but regardless, I also VOTE DOWN a drug that is being pushed on a marketplace already owned by the Twilight franchise. 

5.30.2010

Come play with me at STABFEST. If you can.

So NEARfest is in 3 weeks and I'm so ready to rock out all weekend with my sexy friends, some dirty prog, and a whole lotta black t-shirts drinking beer. Heaven. But as much as I am excited to be nodding my head methodically in 9/8 for 2 days, I'm kinda sad there are no more festivals for me to look forward to this year that I can afford to go to. So I'm thinking about hosting one myself: STABFEST 2010 (not to be confused with STABFEST 2006).

STABFEST will be a rock festival like none other, in that it will most likely only happen in my mind. But regardless, I would only have the BEST bands play and the BEST audience to love them. And they would be the BEST because they would follow the Sacred Rules of Concerts That I Am Making Up Right Now. 

Shall we?

For bands...

Rule #1: If you MUST play intro music, it should not exceed the length of a song you could have played in your set.

Rule #2: The only time playing an electric rockin' song acoustically or a-cappella is acceptable is if your electric instruments have been eaten by a dragon. 

Rule #3: If you MUST extend a song with an instrumental "jam" that is >60% drum machine, it should not exceed the length of another song you could have played in your set.

Rule #4: Medleys are soft. Just don't even think about it. 

Rule #5: If you MUST talk or tell stories between songs, your ramblings should not exceed the length of another song you could have played in your set.



Rule #6: Playing an exclusively acoustic set without warning will not be tolerated as it can only result in taunting and sadness. 

Rule #7: Just because you do not have an interesting part and/or much to play during a particular song does not give you license to start an audience handclap during every chorus. In general, it is recommended that handclaps and turning the mic over to the audience should be kept to a minimum. 


Rule #8: Talking to an audience member during your set is absolutely FORBIDDEN. You will be shot. 

Rule #9: 

Now if you want to attend STABFEST, you will have to abide by a few rules as well...

Rule #1: Unprompted and excessive bragging about how you saw the band back in '73 is unacceptable. Mentioning how you're really not into their new stuff but came anyway (mainly to brag about your supposed pre-sellout fan-ness) will result in a nutpunch.

Rule #2: Be prepared to embrace the hellfire if there is any shouting out of ANY song title--whether it is one by the band onstage or not. (Please note: you WILL be shot if you shout "Freebird." In the face.)

Rule #3: Do not, under any circumstances, bring a disinterested partner, spouse, or friend to the show as it does in fact suck ALL of the energy out of the room, and PAs have been known to weep.

Rule #4: Talking during the songs as if you were in chain sports bar watching the Yankees, drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade, and listening to Journey on the jukebox will not be tolerated under any circumstances. High-fives will result in a boot-kick to the kidneys.

Rule #5: For goodness sake if you try to engage the band in conversation while they are onstage you should kick your own ass out. Seriously.

Rule #6: Dancing during a rock song makes you look like a chode. You will be taunted, then taunted a second time.

Rule #7: You're not sitting in the first 3 rows? Put the fucking camera down.

Right. So there you go...sounds like a great time, right? Bands interested in playing and those of you interested in attending STABFEST are the best in the world. And you should drop me a line. In the meantime, I have to find a venue that meets my 428-point criteria. At least I know it will take place in Hawaii for a week.

Rock on, baby. xo
 

5.18.2010

Do's and Don't Nots: Eating stuff

Here's some advice. 

DON'T eat foods that put a scary Sasquatch Grendel--that although is well-groomed--who wants to chew your face off on the packaging. If you do, you will shit a rusty 1979 Ford F-150 and be forced to live in Canada.


DO eat foods that put googly goo-goo eyes on the packaging! If you do, you will find more joy in life and friends will use words like "zany" and "krazy" to describe you. You will also be able to defeat a Sasquatch Grendel with your dulcet tones of magical laughter.

5.04.2010

RoSfestastic!

This past weekend I visited a giant cemetery in Pennsylvania to let 10 gorgeous rock bands melt my brain. In between I drank buckets of beer, sipped barrels of coffee, and totally got down with my nerd-self collecting a giant pile of prog CDs. Happy times!

And I did it all at RoSfest, an annual progrock festival currently in it's 7th year (my 4th). I look forward to going every year now...there aren't too many times when I can have epic dissertations on what went wrong with GTR and incite "In the Court of the Crimson King" versus "Discipline" arguments.

Here is a rundown of the bands from this year you need to check out IMMEDIATELY! I mean, IMMEDIATELY after you read this and forward it to all your Facebook friends who play Farmville. (That'll teach 'em).

Friday Night/Fresh Liver Night


MYSTERY


Montreal-based prog band that sounds like Iron Maiden swallowed Journey. Throw on stone-washed jeans and play 'em LOUD! Their set was a bombastic good time. Benoit has one of the most amazingly awesome voices in rock.

 

PENDRAGON


Oh Pendragon, the patriarchs of neoprog. Saw them at my first RoSfest in 2007 and think they sounded even better this time around, mostly because I think they are touring with a better album. Also, they have a drummer who, I'm pretty sure, would bleed Red Bull and sunshine if you cut him open.



Saturday/Where's the Closest Bar? Day


AJALON
Wasn't really familiar with this group before the show but they had a great set with a good groove. Well enough groove for a prog band. Since they played at 11:00am and I had only gotten about 10 seconds sleep the night before I don't really remember more than that the show wasn't awful. I suck. But these guys don't.



MANNING
This band was a fun surprise! Great sound. Did some Celtic prog and some nautical prog. Good times.




GAZPACHO
OK, going to spend some time here...so I discovered this band back in 2006 and have been pleading to the powers of RoSfest ever since to get them to play. Well finally this year my dream came true. In fact, the powers of RoSfest, George and Buster, came all the way to my house after midnight during my birthday party last year to tell me in person the day before it was officially announced. I thought I was dreaming. Partly because I didn't dare to believe it could be possible, but mostly because I was completely full of gin and tonic by the time they arrived. George and others in the RoSfest camp casually said I'd be announcing the band and I thought that would be cool, even though the thought of speaking in front of all those people made me want to wet my pantaloons. When the moment arrived though, George made the RIGHT decision to ask a HOT BLONDE at RoSfest to announce the band, and not the NERD BLONDE.

So hot blonde and then Gazpacho take the stage. Doesn't get any better than that, my friends. It was a beautiful set -- I can't put into words the PURE JOY I felt singing along to 2 hours of live Gazpacho. I am so blessed to have experienced that....thank you RoSfest!






RENAISSANCE
Watching Renaissance was like watching the movie Avatar -- I did it because I felt like I "had to." Not a big fan of this band, but Annie Haslam is like the matriarch of prog and this band is so revered in the prog world I couldn't turn away. It wasn't a BAD show but probably the set I enjoyed the least overall. It did warm my nerdy heart to see the sheer reverence exuded in the eyes of every man over the age of 50 there when Haslam took the stage...seriously, this woman has the voice of a Siren...




Sunday/Time to Rally/I Swear I'm Never Drinking Again Day


DeeExpus
A lot of buzz around this band before the 'fest and they did not disappoint. The singer had a sore throat/tonsillitis which was a real shame, but really didn't affect the performance. Seriously think this band is the best kept secret in prog and really rock in general. They are gonna BLOW UP, people! If you like Porcupine Tree, you will like this band. And if you don't like Porcupine Tree, you will also like this band because everything you hate about PT (ahem, Dave and others...!) they are definitely NOT. So everybody wins. Hooray!





Oblivion Sun
Been interested in seeing these guys live for awhile now...hear about them a lot since they are from the area but never actually made it to a show. Totally worth the wait --- RoSfest needs more primarily instrumental/instrumental-only bands like this! These guys are just unbelievable musicians. 






Von Hertzen Brothers
Tall. Finnish. Stylish. Oh and they blew the fucking roof off the Majestic Theater. Holy shit, I haven't seen my ears since. I've said this before, and I'll say this again -- it's like Moon Safari and Black Bonzo in King's of Leon's body. Incredible.



Magic Pie
This band OWNS RoSfest. They pretty much have every fanboy and fangirl wrapped around their finger. And they should because they are unbelievably good. Think about every sound you've ever heard in the world that made you happy, throw it into a pot, and slowly melt it over an open flame on a crisp fall evening. THAT is Magic Pie. Delicious.

I'm pretty sure they were about to play this song (one of my FAAAAVES) when they were told to get off the stage by the union workers who clearly listen to only country music and rap.



For a behind the scenes look, here are some pictures.

More pictures can be found on Facebook if you are unfortunate enough to catch the tagged ones of me before I untag them.

So there you have it. The bestest weekend this nerd could ever ask for. Hope you'll join me next year. xo


3.26.2010

Would you like a side of weird with that?

I've been feelin' kinda weird lately. Not in a trapped-in-a-meat-locker-with-Jim-J-Bullock-who's-only-wearing-a-box-of-Golden-Grahams kinda way, but more in a I've-been-sick-for-over-3-weeks-with-a-mystery-illness kind of way. I won't bore you with the details but I will say I'm not contagious and I'm overjoyed that none of the 3 drugs I'm on right now are contraindicated with gin.

The closest diagnosis I have so far from my doctor is that it could be something that is only seen in men over the age of 60 (this is totally true, by the way). Which of course I couldn't possibly have since I am only 23. Or maybe 32. I always get those numbers mixed up (this is totally true, by the way).

So like I said I feel weird, and although it's not making me feel good in a I'm-trippin-on-Claritin-and-Red Bull-while-riding-a-donkey-on-the-set-of-Too Close For Comfort kinda way, I wanna run with the weird. I've taken to wearing clothes that don't match, I'm watching MLS soccer, and today I tried to wear my hair to simulate a pair of warm croissants, fresh from the oven:

Lady Stabson laments that they are not real croissants.

Another thing I'm doing today is working on a playlist of all the weird songs I love. SO MUCH FUN. I like a lot of weird shit. And honestly, some of it is more "shit" than "weird" but I'm drawn to it. Just like mystery illnesses....

Here are some of my favorites, which ironically enough, are primarily enjoyed by men in their 60's...hmmmm....

Whodunnit? by Genesis
Many fans of Genesis rate their album "Abacab" pretty low on their list of favorites, and its track Whodunnit? is unanimously rated below the sound of a baboon fart. Genesis is usually dramatic, romantic, complex, with lyrics ripped from the pages of post-war literature. Whodunnit? is simple, quirky, with lyrics ripped from a babbling 4 year old who forgot to take his Ritalin. Granted, this isn't one of my favorite Genesis songs, but I appreciate and enjoy this moment of liberated weirdness (as opposed to their repressed batwing-red dress-Slipperman/penis-covered-in-herpes weirdness from their Peter Gabriel days)

I particularly enjoy this live version, complete with Mickey Mouse and scuba gear:


Moribund the Burgermeister by Peter Gabriel
Peter Gabriel is the coolest weirdo ever. I particularly love this song because not only does it sound like he's doing a swamp creature imitation to scare a bunch of kids around the campfire, but it's also the first track on his first album. Right out of the gate he's blazing a new trail with one hand and giving the finger to Genesis with the other. Actually, ALL of the songs on this album are pretty fucking weird except for Solisbury Hill which I can't listen to anymore because all it's shiny parts have been dulled by endless radio overplay and Here Comes the Flood which is one of his most simple, yet powerful songs ever. So I guess it's weird it's on that album. Anyway, here's the Burgermeister for ya, buuuudee:




Push th' Little Daisies by Ween
Uuuuhhhh, all Ween songs are weird. This one is happens to be my favorite at the moment. The video is reminiscent of what you would get if you gave some nerdy 16 year-old boys in upper class suburbia hooked on Monty Python and weed a video camera.  




R.I.P. (Requiescant In Pace) by Banco del Mutuo Soccorso
Do you like surf-rock guitar riffs with your Italian opera? Do you wish more songs had rollicking silent film piano themes combined with the majesty of Mr. Roger's Trolley heading towards the Land of Make Believe? Then you will love R.I.P. by Banco. I saw this band about 2 years ago and fell in love with this song. I've never really gotten into the Italian prog scene (although I'm digging the New Trolls lately) but I might if all songs were as ridiculously catchy as this one. 





OK, back to the playlist and medication and turning my mop into fondue pot. 


Stay weird, my friends. xo

3.10.2010

...But kinda sweet too you know...

Tonight I raise my ice soaked Jack Daniels to you, Dougie. I am still holding my end of the line in disbelief, but I know you are in a better place. You were always so funny. Smart. Genuine. Wickedly huge-hearted. And I loved that you were the type of person that wouldn't even flinch if I screamed "KEVIN COSTNER IS A CUNTFACE!" at the top of my lungs at a playground on a sunny afternoon in July.

I remember the first and only time we met. First words out of your mouth: "That's how Janis died? What a sickly way to go." And without skipping a beat I replied, "but kinda sweet too you know." I always knew I wanted to know you forever, quoting Bruce McCulloch and trading Beck and Yes bootlegs.

You loved music. No, you RESPECTED music. I was always in awe of your reverence, and I always will be. I still want to be as cool as you if I ever fucking grow up. The night I learned that you died I wrapped myself with Mike Keneally and Steve Hackett...they held me up but offered no comfort...

When we first clicked into place in this crazy, beautiful, dirty asshole tragedy of a universe one of my favorite sparks was our Seconds Out "Carpet Crawlers" moment. Our simple, silly, inside joke that we seriously acknowledged that this version of the song is superior to any other version, especially any version vocalled by Gabriel. And for the past 12 years and until I join you and Janis I will think of you whenever I am blessed to listen to it. And I smile.




Goodbye, Doug.
I wish we had more time...

3.06.2010

Beard Season: The Final First Update

Just a quick note to let you know that Philadelphia Phillies outfielder and Cole Hamel's rival for the most awkward white guy in the world, Jayson Werth, may now also be known as the greatest new beard entry for the 2009/10 season. This comes as no surprise after I pointed out his giant facial FAIL in a previous blog. I'm glad SOMEONE reads this damn thing. 


Not only is this some glorious beardage, but his untamed mane is also worth a bark at the moon. I am confident if Werth maintains this premium face fuzz, we will be seeing the Phillies in the World Series this year. Halla-what whaaat?? 

2.01.2010

Your spleen is HUGE: Part 2!

So the other day I noticed this giant poster of some dude with no skin hanging on the bus stop near my office. At first I thought it was a "Wanted" poster for Mel Gibson, but alas it was an advert for a Body Worlds exhibit at the Franklin Institute. It is surprising to learn that this pile of plastic guts is back in town; when I walked through it back in 2006 I wasn't really impressed and I found it quite soul-crushing to learn we do not look like RoboCop on the inside. But I guess the 'tute figures it will be a success this time around. Perhaps the review I wrote after I visited the exhibit in 2006 will also be a success this time around?  Only time and the dismal lack of readership will tell.

----------------------------------

Last night I attended the Body Worlds (or is it called Body Works?) exhibit at The Franklin Institute, a fine museum for children and ramp-lovers of all ages. Body Worlds is a collection of really real dead people and their body parts that have undergone the process of plasticization, a procedure that horrifyingly preserves the deceased in positions you wouldn't be caught dead in. (Obligatory pun intended). I particularly enjoyed the plastic dead guy with the filleted muscles and white cabana hat, appearing to be in the middle of a soft-shoe routine.

Up until last night, I thought I was made of sugar and spice and everything nice. But alas that is not the case. Apparently my body is filled with sea urchins (aka arteries), DMC threads (aka blood vessels), and pulled pork (aka musculature). I believe I also have something they referred to as "skeleton" and "intestines," but I really hope that's not true.  That stuff's just weird, weird, weird!

What is even weirder than having intestines and walking around for 2 hours looking at plasticized versions of them, is that people actually sign-up to become a plastinate (or "plasties" as the guys in Dr. von Hagens's laboratory in Heidelberg like to call them). And the numbers are quite disturbing--there are approximately 6,000 living and 300 deceased body donors that are either now or will be showcased all around the world to curious-minded museum goers (aka carnival freak-show elitists). I just don't get it, but then again, I don't even like to be in public in anything less than a 3-layer full-body suit.

So WHY? According to The Franklin Institute web site, "the purpose of Body Worlds is to educate the public about the inner workings of the human body and to show the link of causality among poor health, good health, and lifestyle choices. It is also meant to create interest in and give insight into the anatomy and physiology of the human body that, prior to this exhibition, only physicians had visual knowledge of."

That's great. I walked away glad I wasn't born inside-out.

http://www2.fi.edu/bodyworlds2/

1.20.2010

Misty Piss-Stained Memories...

When one reaches certain age, as I think I have, it is a good time to pause and reflect on one's life; to take stock in your journey and count blessings for all the good times enjoyed and the hard lessons learned. And to exploit these memories for a tell-all book that will be your gravy train to Dolla Bill Town. 


This said book will be the greatest book ever written by myself and my heterosexual life-partner, Nicole, who like me also possesses unnaturally long life and the ability to communicate with 3-legged dogs and ferrets. (This is due to the devastating nuclear factory disaster in Collingswood during the summer of 1983. But that's a whole other chapter in the book although I will confirm now that yes, we were the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.)   


However, long after we defeated The Shredder in the 2nd grade, Nicole and I went on to enjoy an adventurous life that took us all over the world, to the moon, under several coffee tables, and a few times inside the belly of a magical sea otter that lives in Newton Lake. For example, during a brief period of time, we enjoyed a long and successful career in rock music. Not too many people knew this, since we were always too busy to tell anyone so now I'd like to share with you a little bit of our rock star history from the book. (The entire chapter will include some lyrics, a few stories from the road, and Nicole's diary entry from the day we played our famous benefit concert, "Free Mr. Belvedere."


So without further ado, here are 100 bands we remember playing in and some of the hit songs and albums we've squeezed out so far. We hope you'll stay tuned for the rest of the story... 



1. Asshole Traffic Cop
2. Blackberry Enema
3. Bulldoody Rodeo
4. Burnt Cheese
5. Clucky Chicken's Nightmare
6. Dad’s Haircut
7. Diet Coke and Cornnuts
8. Dirtbag Handles
9. Emotional Bullsh*t
10. Epic Loneliness
11. Falcore’s Bane
12. Fuzzy Rub
13. G-Male (pronounced gee-maal)
14. John Oates Moustache (later reformed to Skunk Anus Moustache)
15. Ass Clown City


















16. Jumping for Jumpers
17. Knee Slap
18. Love/Hate Carbs
19. Meryl Streep Can Do No Wrong
20. Moonfart
21. My Memory Card Is Full
22. Mystical Unicorn Poop (M.U.P.)
23. Naked Grapefruit
24. Pack of Assholes
25. Diamond Jelly featuring Lady Gag-gag
26. Period Headache
27. EMO MF’ers
28. Salad Nicoise-Hold the Pasta
29. Satan’s Goatee
30. Scrubbing Bubbles
31. Sit On It
32. Sooper King 7
33. The Bloody Knees
34. The Phallic Fruit Band
35. The Spice Rack
36. The Split-Splats’
37. Trifecta of Pain
38. Troy the General Manager
39. Relax Your Sphincter
40. Pop Yo Collar (formerly Hold the Douche)
41. Pissing Blood and Glass
42. Bud Light Cockblock
43. Ovarian Mayhem
44. I Hate Your Mother
45. Not Nickelback
46. Toonces Can't Drive 55
47. Blue Frizzy Hair
48. Thor's Thorax
49. Soup In A Bag
50. The Scantron Skidmarks
51. Combover Queens
52. Fanboy Sex Patrol
53. Tampon Renegade
54. You ROCK!
55. Asscheek Pincushion
56. Bed and Breakfast Ghetto
57. Cougar Safari
58. Real Mannequin, Fake People
59. Marbled Dimension (Stacy’s solo prog rock ferret concept band)
60. Fiber 2
61. Blubber Bones
62. Not So Speedline
63. Jalapeno Firehole
64. Screw You, Terminal B/C
65. Senor Chang's Marching Mariachi Tijuana Brass Band
66. My Acai Ass
67. Snotrag Bullfight
68. Starfucked Rash
69. Seersucking Sweatlips
70. Toilet Bowl Ring Melancholy (and the Infinite Poops)
71. Gansta Snaggletooth
72. Ground Round Sad Clown
73. Chum Puddle
74. AC Ass Slurry
75. Your Hometown Fucking Fuck Fuckers
76. The Sweater Vests
77. Misadventures of Turtlehead
78. Paring Knife Blues
79. Dusty Shitballs
80. Diaper Toy
81. Dr. Robert Helfond and the Earhole Fuckers
82. eb5 and the age spots
83. Johnny Walker Black Liver
84. Sad Beautician
85. The Chortling Snot Rockets
86. Sad Idea Generator
87. Socrates's Shoe Rack
88. Dead Duck Rice Water
89. Mom Jewelry
90. Crop Me Out
91. Not Everyone Likes Genesis
92. Reinforced Persuasion
93. Dirty License Plate
94. Thin Mint Munchies
95. Bucket of Snot
96. Piss Poor Performance
97. Uninvited Party Guest
98. "That Guy"
99. Gimp Finger
100. Toyota Tercel


TOP 10 SINGLES

"Chapped Lips and Ashy Elbows" (The Moisturizer Song)
"Why are We Always going to you G***D** Parents?"
"Baby, Can You Drop Me Off At the Mall?" (I Know You Are on the Way to the Game)







Stacy harmonizing on "Get Your F****** Cat Away From Me (I'm Allergic)"













"Nickelback It To My Bat"
"Uggs Make You Look Like a Hobo"
"Don't Flush While I'm in the Shower, Damnit!" 
"I Like You As A Friend (You Are Ugly)
"If You Don't Shut Up I'll Eat Your Baby"








Nicole laying down the track, "Wind Beneath my Jeans" (Vince's Song)












"Are You On Your Period?"
"Mayonaise"
"Oooh I Do Not Care For That"
"Relax Your Sphincter" (from the dance remix album, Relax Your Spincter) -- inspired an international dance craze!


GRAMMY AWARD-WINNING ALBUMS


Gum Butt
It Was The Dog
A Tribute to Billy Mays
Be Dazzler!





 

Stacy tearing shit up on Mayor McCheese is a Liar







Nicole writing the soundtrack to Teen Wolf 3 (also written, directed, produced, and starring Nicole and Stacy)




It's Not Harassment If Its Welcome 
Buy it, Don't Buy it, We Don't Care
Revenge of the Colon
Bourbon Bedtime: A Childrens' Album
Horses Are Gorgeous, Aren't They

It's all a little bit mostly true sometimes but not really.