6.07.2013

Running Over MS Again!

Here we go again -- it's time to get ready for my 5th City to Shore/MS 150 ride and this year I am more determined than ever to crush those 150 miles between Cherry Hill and Ocean City, New Jersey.

Every hour of every day, another American is diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). It is often times a debilitating disease that comes out of nowhere to kick the crap out of your central nervous system. And once the jackwagon shows up, it never goes away. It's not genetic, it's not caused by having a great lifestyle (ie, drinking or smoking or McDonald's feasting), and it's not caused by any co-morbidities (other diseases). The punk just shows up--totally uninvited--and basically vomits all over your brain and spinal cord so your limbs go numb or you lose your vision or you're paralyzed. Oh and did I mention there is no cure? DAMN YOU MS!!!

So as you can see there are a lot of reasons to help the National MS Society in their mission to help find a cure and provide medical and lifestyle support to those all across the country who are living with MS.

And I would love to have your help, and here are some ways you can:

1. Join me on the ride September 28th & 29. Or if you can't ride, sign up to volunteer at the rest stops or cheer on the return riders in Ocean City or in Cherry Hill. There's food.

2. Drop some coin onto my fundraising page to help me meet my goal of raising $2,000.

3. Share the link to my fundraising page -- http://main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/ladystabson -- everywhere and often! Facebook, Twitter, blogs, emails, restroom stalls, etc.


Below are some examples of how donations to the MS Society are used:
  • $25 can provide yoga and exercise instruction or educational materials to people with MS.
  • $50 can provide transportation to an MS club or group meeting for someone with no means to get there.
  • $200 can pay for an occupational therapy home assessment for someone having difficulties with daily tasks around the house.
  • $300 can maintain the operation of an MS support group for an entire year.
  • $400 can pay for a driving assessment for someone needing vehicle modifications in order to remain independent in their community.
  • $500 can help pay the rent for a family affected by MS struggling to pay medical bills and other expenses.
  • $750 can help people with MS pay for chore services to help with tasks they can no longer handle because of the disease — like shoveling the driveway or meal preparation.
  • $2,000 can provide a scholarship to help a young person affected by MS pursue a college education.
THANK YOU for your support! xoxo

5.20.2013

Intermission music

At some point I think I got drunk and smeared some smut on my Twitter feed about moving this blog into a podcast. Well if you and I missed it, I am officially declaring that it's gonna happen, baby. (Excuse me while I pour another bourbon slurry).

I plan to have it debut in June or July but most likely Junly. It will feature lots of cool stuff you'll have to wait until Mayune to hear about. I need to figure out what the fuck a podcast is first.    

While I am eating all the podcast information I can throw down my jowls in the hopes of shitting out something listenable, I will leave you with musical entertainment provided by some of my very close friends who are awesome and already very listenable. 

First up is my boy Matt who records and performs under the name Boy Pierce. I first met Matt back in 2007 when we worked at the same communications agency. He and I bonded over a mutual hatred of sayings like "low hanging fruit" and "having fun yet?"and seeing the voicemail light blinking first thing on a Monday morning. We also share a love of all kinds of music, and even though his music centers on dance/rap/hip-hop you can hear lot of shout outs to rock, pop, indie, and soul. Ever since I heard him do a freestyle rap during a happy hour at Las Vegas Lounge during $2 Yuengling night I was hooked. 

Boy Pierce just released his 5th album, Various Dreams, which you can download FOR FREE here: 


And you can check out his latest video for the single "Hindsight" here:


Want MOAR? Go to
https://www.facebook.com/boypiercemusic 
http://www.youtube.com/boypiercemusic

Next up -- one of my bessie friends from my teenage hooligan days of shenaniganry, Jeff, is in a band called The Lost Will Follow and I have really enjoyed watching him and his lovely band take-off in the Philly area from my couch. (Sorry Jeff for being a shit friend and only seeing yous guys play live once. I suck.) But from my couch I have been listening to their choons and you can hear them now too. They are a sexy force of South Jersey hard balls rock with none of that emo horseshit:

http://www.thelostwillfollow.com/Music.html 

Here they are performing "I Don't Know" last month. Please note I am NOT the blonde hootchie momma dancing in a light-beer haze in front of the band.



You can also get lost and follow this fine chaps here (and tell Jeff what a shit friend I am): https://www.facebook.com/thelostwillfollow 

And last, but certainly not least, my boyfriend Simon is on the verge of unleashing his latest project, called Shineback in the form of an album called Rise Up Forgotten, Return Destroyed.  It will be available for listening, chewing, and gently caressing on July 1st. In the meantime, you can download the first single "Passengers" FOR FREE here:




And if you pre-order the album now, you will immediately receive a free download of the extra track "I Have Good Days, I Have Bad Days." I can tell you it's extra good and actually not so bad. 

I have had the opportunity to listen to the entire album and I love it because it is truly a bi-partisan masterpiece. Prog fans will appreciate the ability to finally cast aside their dusty capes and shake their hot apple booties to some music that is truly progressive, while pop fans will have something much more meatier to chomp into than the usual over-produced noxious fumes pooted over today's airwaves. 

And I'm not just saying that because the guy responsible for it all has a nice ass. Really. 

More Shineback goodies can be pillaged at 

So go play nice with my old dear friends who are now your new friends and watch out for Lady Stabson casting pods soon.

4.04.2013

The More You Know: For the Ladies

Please spread the word. I will not rest until the world is rid of these kiddie fiddlers disguised as "boyfriends" and "husbands."


3.19.2013

A High-Fiber Friendship


And now a word from Nicole.....

(PLEASE LISTEN UP OR I WILL PUNCH YOUR ASS. THANK YOU.)

Hello masses!

Nicole here. Long time listener, first time caller. I have had the honor of being Stacy’s heterosexual life-mate for 30 years. We have seen a lot of life together, starting with her Bert and Ernie record-player.  It was 1982, but we loved listening to Karen and Chuck’s records of the hits from 1950’s. Hold the phone, Lionel Richie; we’ll get to you after this dramatic dance interpretation of “Chantilly Lace”.  We would see each other through our girlhood crushes of Davy Jones and Mickey Dolenz which would grow to an adulthood crush on just Michael Nesmith. In adolescence, we grew enamored with Chad Allen and Neil Patrick Harris. (Epic gaydar fail!) Sleepovers on Stacy’s waterbed of hell and almost dying in my Popples Sweatlodge tent. Skinning our knees on my family’s cement pool and Stacy’s family home in the country, where you would lose 5 pounds from the mosquitos sucking you dry. Our mutual codependency would grow ever stronger through hatred of itchy band uniforms, a love of slapstick and/or irreverent humor, and the delight of knowing each other’s mother thought the other one was a bad influence. (Yes, Karen, I KNOW.)  My older siblings to teach and tease us, Stacy’s younger siblings to torture and ignore.  Bad skin, bad teeth, nerd glasses. I can’t believe we weren’t more popular. We had our first jobs together, Stacy got me my job at Thrift Drug and together, we’d fight over who could do the least. And who would do the closing announcement on the PA. “Attention Thrift Drug shoppers, the time is now 9:15, the store will be closing…..”

But alas, it is our differences that make our friendship strong. Stacy is taller than me and she is a natural blond. I am petite and there is nothing natural about my hair color. Stacy likes nature and the Phillies. I think camping will give you hepatitis and find hiking the mall excellent cardio. Stacy would rather dive into a vat of razor blades than listen to Radiohead and most things emo, I would eat shards of broken glass before going near anything described as “prog”. But we both love Weird Al, novelty tees and gin*, so it always evens out in the end.

Stacy gets control of the juke-box tonight!




















So many memories, delightfully brought up to embarrass one another in public situations. Yes, this is the stuff friendship is made of. There is a secret to keeping us close as we ever have been. We once killed a man. Just kidding, that is no secret. Actually, keeping our friendship strong requires a lot of upkeep. Emails, phone calls, waxing for those special occasions, texting and our favorite: G-Chat.
Is there anything nicer in the middle of a tough workday than a friendly hello, how are your bowels** from a friend? I think not. Although I was waiting for enough material for a coffee table book, here is a sneak peek. We hope you enjoy.

*and Bourbon. And Wine. And Beer. And Vodka. And Moonshine.
** Spoiler Alert-this is a major topic for us.

The G-chat Diaries: Part 1


November 25, 2009

Nicole: I wonder how to write how a turkey dying sounds...
Stacy: sure it's on youtube
Nicole: Gobble gobble goooooodajfhleruifh90q34y9-837hpadfuivnads09y340h (gasp) (wheeze!)
                    beeppppppppppppppppppppp
                    now i feel sad about turkey

March 18, 2013
Nicole: i have a cheddar goldfish addiction
Stacy: who doesn't?
Nicole: Boner Kings is a good band name
Stacy:  Oh definitely
             Boner with anything makes a good band name
             The Boner Rats
             Boner Cookies
             Fat Boner featuring Hot Vomit
 Nicole: Boner Boombox Bougeouis

August 29, 2012
Stacy: happy to see you are having a happy bowel day
Nicole: that’s to be determined
             I heard the Madonna show sucked last night


June 3, 2011
Nicole: I just yelled at my intestines
Stacy: usually my intestines yell at ME!
            especially on fruit cart day
Nicole: i love fruit carts
            i miss them
Stacy: they are awesome


September 9, 2011
Nicole: let's create something
                  I'm creating something right now after my salad for lunch
Stacy: I need to eat again to make something :(
Nicole: do you have a safe snack drawer? go to nuts to you or nuts 4 you, the South Philly bastard
  store
Stacy: I had some almonds and MAYBE I can get something real nice brewing with this afternoon cup of coffee
Nicole: hahaha
            new synonym for pre-poop belly: creating
            as in "I am creating something AMAZING from this cup of coffee and almonds"
Stacy: hahaha
            like a food baby pregnancy
Nicole: good one
            I would also like to make the word creeper associated with pooping
Stacy:  easy to do
            it's the point of no return

May 23, 2012
Stacy: I've just discovered that my rack makes a nice pen shelf. I've got a Bic pen and a highlighter on            each now                 
Nicole: your boob shelf?
Stacy: yes
Nicole: oh yes, you can also use the undercarriage to hold things
Stacy: oops it just rolled off
Nicole: put it underneath!
Stacy: nooo it's warm, i haz swooob
Nicole: time to archive, my email be busting
Stacy: ugh I hate doing that...i'm sorting through a ginormous excel sheet at the moment and it's making me ill

October 15, 2009
Nicole: i want halloween candy, nom nom
            but I drink asshole green tea instead
Stacy: Reeses? you are onto a haiku..
Nicole: i want a hershey milk chocolate bar mmm let me work on it.
            Halloween Candy
            I crave but instead I
            drink green tea shit?
Stacy: haha
Nicole: not perfect but I'll tweak it


In 2010 we spent a solid month creating band names. See below:

January 13, 2010
Nicole: ahh went a little crazy [I added 15 bands to our memoires]
Stacy: yes!!!! i will take a look
Nicole: Great! Some bands are better album names I think
Stacy: we can swap if you think
                  Jalapeno Firehole!!! HAHAHAHAHA
                  Seersucking Sweatlips!!! I want that on a t-shirt!
Nicole: real mannequins fake people was inspired by a trip to IKEA last night
Stacy: that was our serious band we played coffeeshops
                  I think Mayor McCheese is a Liar should be an album
Nicole: yes I agree

January 18, 2010
Nicole:  I am afraid to laugh as I am back on Alli and I don’t want to relax my sphincter
             So I cough instead
Stacy:   Gentle Sphincter?
             Or song: Relax My Sphincter?
Nicole: Relax Your Sphincter
Stacy: HAHA
Nicole: also a dance club album
Stacy: added! so now it's a band, a song, and an album!
Nicole: ahhhh feels so good and is a dance move

And when we aren’t pretending we are in bands that are so much better sounding than your band, we sometimes talk about our jobs and even share current projects with each other. Here is just a sample of some of things we’ve been working on:












































































Please note we have major love feelings for those who get the Swill reference without having to look it up.  And while we’re at it, if you know Eddie the Flying Gimp we will have your babies. 































So there you go. A friendship in a very nuttyshell. Here’s us 28 years ago. Haven’t aged a bit. 







3.03.2013

Such is life.

Heading over to Amsterdam tomorrow for a few days, then getting all tingle tanglin' with Marillion in Holland over the weekend. Really bummed cos I was making such great progress on my puzzle.





















2.23.2013

The 3,275 character status update


Well hello there! How are you? What did you have for dinner? What has your baby or dog or dog baby been up to in the last 3 hours? What is your favorite unfounded religiously or politically bent meme today? Normally I wouldn't have to ask because I stalk you constantly on Twitter and Facebook, but for the past 10 days I have moved under a nice rock where I will live for another 30.

Yes mon frère Jacques, it's that wonderful time of year that is always a favorite to ignore: Lent. 

But I choose not to dis the Season of Lent, the Season of Shame. I think it is important to celebrate the fact that you will never be good enough. 

For me, Lent is an opportunity to take stock in who I am (fire-breathing dragon lady with seasonal eczema) what I do, what I believe, and most importantly, to identify what is keeping me from being the most fucking awesome person I can be for myself and the ones I love. And anything in my life that “tempts” me from being anything but the best I can be is a shitty fuckwagon. Amen.

This year’s temptations have been Internet’s sexiest sirens, Facebook and Twitter. I live AND work AND plot revenge on Kevin Costner alone, so it’s not surprising I rely on these sites for contact, connection, and to give Oscar a break from my ramblings.

He's been wearing his noise-cancelling headphones a lot these past 10 days....


















But early this year I realized I was all up in these Intertubes a lot more than I have in the past, to the point where it was becoming a more and more integral part of my day/life – I looked at it first thing in the morning and last thing at night, not to mention I couldn’t take a proper lady-like dump in the can without scrolling through my newsfeeds. And of course I couldn’t help myself from assaulting my friends and followers with whatever hot stink came through my head at any given moment. Here are some choice bits of bile you have missed in the past week or so:

"I am mad at myself for buying menthol facial tissues."

"One of the greatest regrets in my life is never seeing Earth, Wind, and Fire live."

"I am getting dangerously low on toilet paper."

"At best, Coheed and Cambria is a thinking girl's boy band."

"Why are onions such prudes?"

"What is the better advice to give someone who is having a bad day: 'just grab him in the biscuits' or 'never trust a big butt and smile?"

"I still don't understand why people watch movies with Kevin Costner being in them and ruining them."


You’re welcome for staying away. Enjoy these last 30 days of peace and sanity while you can.

Saying good-bye to TwitFace was my way of saying “time to see the world in reality, not virtually.” Well let me tell you, I’m only about a third of the way in and what I see isn’t all that bad. However, it has been confirmed that my real life is just as pathetic as my virtual life.

Exhibit A


















I’m also discovering that I have more time to do lame shit like “sleep” and “read” and “cook” and “graffiti wizard runes under the Ben Franklin Bridge.”

So do I feel like I am becoming a better person? Definitely not, this rot runs deep. BUT, letting go of an online life even in this short amount of time has given me a chance to take breath and find different ways to better spend my time, however pitiable they may be. There is a difference between running around in just your frilly pantaloons babbling loudly about how much you love Phil Collins online and in your living room. (The only similarity is that no one cares but me). All I am hoping to achieve at the end of this is to emerge as a more balanced Lady Stabson, one that can, even in a little way, enjoy the Easter promise of a renewed and better life.  Or some crap like that.

30 more days seems like a long time to wait to hopefully realize that promise, but I am going to see this through, even though I do miss it. I’ve always liked a challenge and to shake things up a bit. Just as Jesus said when he was tempted by the Devil while wandering in the wilderness, “Back the fuck off yo, I’ve got this. LOL. :-)” (Matthew 4:10)

It's all a little bit mostly true sometimes but not really.