Let me get straight to the point here because I've got to change my diaper. I really fucking hate summer. I hate its heat, I hate its humidity and I especially hate how it taunts my reflective flesh covering. But this summer is the biggest steaming shitsack ever, even bigger than my diaper. Allow me to continue verbally abusing you with 3 reasons why:
1. The Phillies have been ruining my summer by doing an excellent job of playing shitty baseball. They have managed to be in last place in their division, and their collective shittiness has been swept into more bins than I care to think about. It's SO BAD that we fans recently whizzed in jubilation over sweeping the Brewers. The fucking Brewers who are tied with the Phillies in baseball shittiness. Fucking hell. But it could be worse, it could be football season already.
2. I am so fucking sick of people talking about boycotting Chick-Fil-A. I don't give a flaming cunt about what you believe in or who you support, EVERYONE should have started boycotting Chick-Fil-A years ago because their food IS BAD FOR YOU, ESPECIALLY if you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Tom Cruise, gay, lesbian, man, woman, child, a Christian Tom Cruise, and a lesbian gay.
3. Because it's summer here that means it's not December and that means I can't see The Hobbit. Instead, I have to my choice of regurgitated bile (The "Amazing" Spiderman) and a very sexy man talking like a troll with emphysema (The Dark Knight Rises) to get my epic fantasy on. And The Watch? I'd rather watch a broken watch for 2 hours than see Ben Stiller continue down Adam Sandler Avenue.
So there you go. Hope everyone's having a great summer so far!
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