Bless. This.

So on Saturday, I crawl into bed with Nicole and as we drift off to sleep in South Amboy's finest bed, we managed to fit in one last conversation before we succumbed to slumber (which was promptly interrupted by Leslie gnawing at our arms, which we all know is completely unavoidable.)

The discussion was about saying "bless you," or if you are a German or an asshole (not that they are related) "Gesundheit" and how RIDICULOUS it is to say that to ANYONE. If evil spirits are shooting out of my nose, you will fucking KNOW IT. I need your blessings when I have to give someone directions or need to operate a lawnmower, not when I'm in the middle of a snot-blasting sneeze fest. But if you feel compelled to say "bless you" then I won't hold it against you. Let's be honest here: I need all the blessings I can get. I especially appreciate the times someone says "bless you" and then the people around him/her chime in as well, all filled with shame they weren't the first to say it. This is particularly heart-warming at business meetings and lame get-togethers; basically those situations where everyone is uncomfortably staring at each other because everyone hates each other (in a very polite way, of course). And the ultimate "bless you" comes from the guy down the hall who can't see you but knows wherever you are, you need a blessin'. We also declared our disgust in having to say "bless you" to people, and confessed that we only say it because it is EXPECTED of us. I know, I know, I know. We are just as evil as the boogie demon that fired out of your nose and more insensitive than making your best friend watch "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen."

But C'MON, is it really a blessing? How is it that this superstition is still clinging to us? Or is it now more like an unconscious reflex? Who knows; we just think it's a little bit better than saying, "Eeww, use a tissue you sick fuck."

I think eventually people will stop saying "bless you" -- mostly because of this blog -- but also because we will stop caring about each other and wanting to ward of evil demons from each others sinus passages. And that's nothing to sneeze about. (OK, that "joke"? Definitely warrants your blessing on my soul).