I just couldn't fucking stay away. I have missed smearing my verbal excrement all over your eyeballs and infecting your brain-----tying your neurons in knots and turning your synapses into syrup. Not sure if those things are actually in your brain but I've got the hots for alliteration.
So here I am once more in my playground of vile and bile. (I have a crush on rhymes too). If you haven't been here in a long time or at all, know that if you continue reading you might blush or cry or vomit, and it is highly likely you will do all 3 while shitting out a lumpy sac of neurons and synapses. The musings of a Christian and a Republican writer is not something you fuck around with lightly. (Please note I am NOT a Christian Republican or a Republican Christian -- both types of people are just highly exasperating, confused souls that only perpetuate personal agendas rooted in falsehoods. And they give me gas.)
Anyway, I went away for awhile to take care of some personal bidniz and gain some weight and lose it again and then gain it back and make a lot of granola and get a haircut. And then there was that whole scandal with Bigfoot in the Peruvian press while I was on a ski trip in Mexico...so to make a long story short I got a little distracted. But I'm back now and will make a concerted effort to keep this blog up, despite your protests.
So Welcome Back, Me and You! I hope you've got a bib and some clean underwear lined up.
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