W. T. F.

Left work around 7:15pm tonight, feeling pretty good I got to leave before first light of the next day. As I'm walking along 8th Street on Chestnut towards the train station, plugged into my fuel supply (iPod) and staring at the ground (sidewalk) I hear a "Hey there!" straining through the cerebral stylings of King Crimson. I look up and stop to see a guy I *swear* I've never seen before standing next to me. I thought he was going to ask me for the time or for a lock of hair so I reached for my pair of clock scissors, but he looked right at me and said, "Hi! It's Chris! Don't you remember me?"

"Um, actually I'm not too sure..."

"OK!"

Then, with a big smile, quickly turns and walks away. Just like that! Before I could ask, "where do I know you from?" or "it's 7:20, would you like some bangs?" he was gone! Now, I have a confession: I am really bad about remembering people. This is completely true: Last year I was introduced to 2 people before a concert, then about 15 minutes later when I went to my seat I saw those 2 people in my row and was freaked out when they started talking to me because I didn't remember them. Another time I was at a bar and the bartender started talking to me like I knew him but I swore I didn't. Boy, was I embarrassed when he reminded me that I had dinner with him and his fiance 2 weeks before. (In my defense, I was with my friend Bart on both of these occasions and he is my kryptonite but more like in a giant bottle of peroxide kinda way).

See, here's Bart using his idiot-inducing powers on me:



But I swear I don't remember that guy (whatshisname--Chris, right?) but here I am racking brain matter against every possible situation I've been in where I could have been introduced to a human male named Chris and so far the only thing that's coming up is that I would like a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream now.

It's really bothering me I can't remember him since concepts like "remembering" and "identifying" and "giving a flying fuck" are really hard for me. But what is bothering me more is that he walked away before he could explain where he knew me from! How rude! How dare he just walk out on me like that? After all we might have possibly been through together?

Of course for a brief second I thought that he might have mistaken me for someone else, but C'MON, who could ever forget ME?