Intermission music

At some point I think I got drunk and smeared some smut on my Twitter feed about moving this blog into a podcast. Well if you and I missed it, I am officially declaring that it's gonna happen, baby. (Excuse me while I pour another bourbon slurry).

I plan to have it debut in June or July but most likely Junly. It will feature lots of cool stuff you'll have to wait until Mayune to hear about. I need to figure out what the fuck a podcast is first.    

While I am eating all the podcast information I can throw down my jowls in the hopes of shitting out something listenable, I will leave you with musical entertainment provided by some of my very close friends who are awesome and already very listenable. 

First up is my boy Matt who records and performs under the name Boy Pierce. I first met Matt back in 2007 when we worked at the same communications agency. He and I bonded over a mutual hatred of sayings like "low hanging fruit" and "having fun yet?"and seeing the voicemail light blinking first thing on a Monday morning. We also share a love of all kinds of music, and even though his music centers on dance/rap/hip-hop you can hear lot of shout outs to rock, pop, indie, and soul. Ever since I heard him do a freestyle rap during a happy hour at Las Vegas Lounge during $2 Yuengling night I was hooked. 

Boy Pierce just released his 5th album, Various Dreams, which you can download FOR FREE here: 

And you can check out his latest video for the single "Hindsight" here:

Want MOAR? Go to
https://www.facebook.com/boypiercemusic 
http://www.youtube.com/boypiercemusic

Next up -- one of my bessie friends from my teenage hooligan days of shenaniganry, Jeff, is in a band called The Lost Will Follow and I have really enjoyed watching him and his lovely band take-off in the Philly area from my couch. (Sorry Jeff for being a shit friend and only seeing yous guys play live once. I suck.) But from my couch I have been listening to their choons and you can hear them now too. They are a sexy force of South Jersey hard balls rock with none of that emo horseshit:

http://www.thelostwillfollow.com/Music.html 

Here they are performing "I Don't Know" last month. Please note I am NOT the blonde hootchie momma dancing in a light-beer haze in front of the band.



You can also get lost and follow this fine chaps here (and tell Jeff what a shit friend I am): https://www.facebook.com/thelostwillfollow 

And last, but certainly not least, my boyfriend Simon is on the verge of unleashing his latest project, called Shineback in the form of an album called Rise Up Forgotten, Return Destroyed.  It will be available for listening, chewing, and gently caressing on July 1st. In the meantime, you can download the first single "Passengers" FOR FREE here:

And if you pre-order the album now, you will immediately receive a free download of the extra track "I Have Good Days, I Have Bad Days." I can tell you it's extra good and actually not so bad. 

I have had the opportunity to listen to the entire album and I love it because it is truly a bi-partisan masterpiece. Prog fans will appreciate the ability to finally cast aside their dusty capes and shake their hot apple booties to some music that is truly progressive, while pop fans will have something much more meatier to chomp into than the usual over-produced noxious fumes pooted over today's airwaves. 

And I'm not just saying that because the guy responsible for it all has a nice ass. Really. 

More Shineback goodies can be pillaged at 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shineback/527980740573933

http://shineback.org

So go play nice with my old dear friends who are now your new friends and watch out for Lady Stabson casting pods soon.

The More You Know: For the Ladies

Please spread the word. I will not rest until the world is rid of these kiddie fiddlers disguised as "boyfriends" and "husbands."

A High-Fiber Friendship

And now a word from Nicole.....

(PLEASE LISTEN UP OR I WILL PUNCH YOUR ASS. THANK YOU.)

Hello masses!

Nicole here. Long time listener, first time caller. I have had the honor of being Stacy’s heterosexual life-mate for 30 years. We have seen a lot of life together, starting with her Bert and Ernie record-player.  It was 1982, but we loved listening to Karen and Chuck’s records of the hits from 1950’s. Hold the phone, Lionel Richie; we’ll get to you after this dramatic dance interpretation of “Chantilly Lace”.  We would see each other through our girlhood crushes of Davy Jones and Mickey Dolenz which would grow to an adulthood crush on just Michael Nesmith. In adolescence, we grew enamored with Chad Allen and Neil Patrick Harris. (Epic gaydar fail!) Sleepovers on Stacy’s waterbed of hell and almost dying in my Popples Sweatlodge tent. Skinning our knees on my family’s cement pool and Stacy’s family home in the country, where you would lose 5 pounds from the mosquitos sucking you dry. Our mutual codependency would grow ever stronger through hatred of itchy band uniforms, a love of slapstick and/or irreverent humor, and the delight of knowing each other’s mother thought the other one was a bad influence. (Yes, Karen, I KNOW.)  My older siblings to teach and tease us, Stacy’s younger siblings to torture and ignore.  Bad skin, bad teeth, nerd glasses. I can’t believe we weren’t more popular. We had our first jobs together, Stacy got me my job at Thrift Drug and together, we’d fight over who could do the least. And who would do the closing announcement on the PA. “Attention Thrift Drug shoppers, the time is now 9:15, the store will be closing…..”

But alas, it is our differences that make our friendship strong. Stacy is taller than me and she is a natural blond. I am petite and there is nothing natural about my hair color. Stacy likes nature and the Phillies. I think camping will give you hepatitis and find hiking the mall excellent cardio. Stacy would rather dive into a vat of razor blades than listen to Radiohead and most things emo, I would eat shards of broken glass before going near anything described as “prog”. But we both love Weird Al, novelty tees and gin*, so it always evens out in the end.

Stacy gets control of the juke-box tonight!

So many memories, delightfully brought up to embarrass one another in public situations. Yes, this is the stuff friendship is made of. There is a secret to keeping us close as we ever have been. We once killed a man. Just kidding, that is no secret. Actually, keeping our friendship strong requires a lot of upkeep. Emails, phone calls, waxing for those special occasions, texting and our favorite: G-Chat.

Is there anything nicer in the middle of a tough workday than a friendly hello, how are your bowels** from a friend? I think not. Although I was waiting for enough material for a coffee table book, here is a sneak peek. We hope you enjoy.

*and Bourbon. And Wine. And Beer. And Vodka. And Moonshine.

** Spoiler Alert-this is a major topic for us.

The G-chat Diaries: Part 1


November 25, 2009

Nicole: I wonder how to write how a turkey dying sounds...

Stacy: sure it's on youtube

Nicole: Gobble gobble goooooodajfhleruifh90q34y9-837hpadfuivnads09y340h (gasp) (wheeze!)

                    beeppppppppppppppppppppp

                    now i feel sad about turkey

March 18, 2013
Nicole: i have a cheddar goldfish addiction

Stacy: who doesn't?

Nicole: Boner Kings is a good band name

Stacy:  Oh definitely

             Boner with anything makes a good band name

             The Boner Rats

             Boner Cookies

             Fat Boner featuring Hot Vomit

 Nicole: Boner Boombox Bougeouis

August 29, 2012

Stacy: happy to see you are having a happy bowel day

Nicole: that’s to be determined

             I heard the Madonna show sucked last night

June 3, 2011

Nicole: I just yelled at my intestines

Stacy: usually my intestines yell at ME!

            especially on fruit cart day

Nicole: i love fruit carts

            i miss them

Stacy: they are awesome

September 9, 2011

Nicole: let's create something

                  I'm creating something right now after my salad for lunch

Stacy: I need to eat again to make something :(

Nicole: do you have a safe snack drawer? go to nuts to you or nuts 4 you, the South Philly bastard

  store

Stacy: I had some almonds and MAYBE I can get something real nice brewing with this afternoon cup of coffee

Nicole: hahaha

            new synonym for pre-poop belly: creating

            as in "I am creating something AMAZING from this cup of coffee and almonds"

Stacy: hahaha

            like a food baby pregnancy

Nicole: good one

            I would also like to make the word creeper associated with pooping

Stacy:  easy to do

            it's the point of no return

May 23, 2012

Stacy: I've just discovered that my rack makes a nice pen shelf. I've got a Bic pen and a highlighter on            each now                 

Nicole: your boob shelf?

Stacy: yes

Nicole: oh yes, you can also use the undercarriage to hold things

Stacy: oops it just rolled off

Nicole: put it underneath!

Stacy: nooo it's warm, i haz swooob

Nicole: time to archive, my email be busting

Stacy: ugh I hate doing that...i'm sorting through a ginormous excel sheet at the moment and it's making me ill

October 15, 2009

Nicole: i want halloween candy, nom nom

            but I drink asshole green tea instead

Stacy: Reeses? you are onto a haiku..

Nicole: i want a hershey milk chocolate bar mmm let me work on it.

            Halloween Candy

            I crave but instead I

            drink green tea shit?

Stacy: haha

Nicole: not perfect but I'll tweak it

In 2010 we spent a solid month creating band names. See below:

January 13, 2010

Nicole: ahh went a little crazy [I added 15 bands to our memoires]

Stacy: yes!!!! i will take a look

Nicole: Great! Some bands are better album names I think

Stacy: we can swap if you think

                  Jalapeno Firehole!!! HAHAHAHAHA

                  Seersucking Sweatlips!!! I want that on a t-shirt!

Nicole: real mannequins fake people was inspired by a trip to IKEA last night

Stacy: that was our serious band we played coffeeshops

                  I think Mayor McCheese is a Liar should be an album

Nicole: yes I agree

January 18, 2010

Nicole:  I am afraid to laugh as I am back on Alli and I don’t want to relax my sphincter

             So I cough instead

Stacy:   Gentle Sphincter?

             Or song: Relax My Sphincter?

Nicole: Relax Your Sphincter

Stacy: HAHA

Nicole: also a dance club album

Stacy: added! so now it's a band, a song, and an album!

Nicole: ahhhh feels so good and is a dance move

And when we aren’t pretending we are in bands that are so much better sounding than your band, we sometimes talk about our jobs and even share current projects with each other. Here is just a sample of some of things we’ve been working on:

Please note we have major love feelings for those who get the Swill reference without having to look it up.  And while we’re at it, if you know Eddie the Flying Gimp we will have your babies. 

So there you go. A friendship in a very nuttyshell. Here’s us 28 years ago. Haven’t aged a bit. 

Such is life.

Heading over to Amsterdam tomorrow for a few days, then getting all tingle tanglin' with Marillion in Holland over the weekend. Really bummed cos I was making such great progress on my puzzle.

The 3,275 character status update

Well hello there! How are you? What did you have for dinner? What has your baby or dog or dog baby been up to in the last 3 hours? What is your favorite unfounded religiously or politically bent meme today? Normally I wouldn't have to ask because I stalk you constantly on Twitter and Facebook, but for the past 10 days I have moved under a nice rock where I will live for another 30.

Yes mon frère Jacques, it's that wonderful time of year that is always a favorite to ignore: Lent. 

But I choose not to dis the Season of Lent, the Season of Shame. I think it is important to celebrate the fact that you will never be good enough. 

For me, Lent is an opportunity to take stock in who I am (fire-breathing dragon lady with seasonal eczema) what I do, what I believe, and most importantly, to identify what is keeping me from being the most fucking awesome person I can be for myself and the ones I love. And anything in my life that “tempts” me from being anything but the best I can be is a shitty fuckwagon. Amen.

This year’s temptations have been Internet’s sexiest sirens, Facebook and Twitter. I live AND work AND plot revenge on Kevin Costner alone, so it’s not surprising I rely on these sites for contact, connection, and to give Oscar a break from my ramblings.

He's been wearing his noise-cancelling headphones a lot these past 10 days....

But early this year I realized I was all up in these Intertubes a lot more than I have in the past, to the point where it was becoming a more and more integral part of my day/life – I looked at it first thing in the morning and last thing at night, not to mention I couldn’t take a proper lady-like dump in the can without scrolling through my newsfeeds. And of course I couldn’t help myself from assaulting my friends and followers with whatever hot stink came through my head at any given moment. Here are some choice bits of bile you have missed in the past week or so:

"I am mad at myself for buying menthol facial tissues."

"One of the greatest regrets in my life is never seeing Earth, Wind, and Fire live."

"I am getting dangerously low on toilet paper."

"At best, Coheed and Cambria is a thinking girl's boy band."

"Why are onions such prudes?"

"What is the better advice to give someone who is having a bad day: 'just grab him in the biscuits' or 'never trust a big butt and smile?"

"I still don't understand why people watch movies with Kevin Costner being in them and ruining them."

You’re welcome for staying away. Enjoy these last 30 days of peace and sanity while you can.

Saying good-bye to TwitFace was my way of saying “time to see the world in reality, not virtually.” Well let me tell you, I’m only about a third of the way in and what I see isn’t all that bad. However, it has been confirmed that my real life is just as pathetic as my virtual life.

Exhibit A

I’m also discovering that I have more time to do lame shit like “sleep” and “read” and “cook” and “graffiti wizard runes under the Ben Franklin Bridge.”

So do I feel like I am becoming a better person? Definitely not, this rot runs deep. BUT, letting go of an online life even in this short amount of time has given me a chance to take breath and find different ways to better spend my time, however pitiable they may be. There is a difference between running around in just your frilly pantaloons babbling loudly about how much you love Phil Collins online and in your living room. (The only similarity is that no one cares but me). All I am hoping to achieve at the end of this is to emerge as a more balanced Lady Stabson, one that can, even in a little way, enjoy the Easter promise of a renewed and better life.  Or some crap like that.

30 more days seems like a long time to wait to hopefully realize that promise, but I am going to see this through, even though I do miss it. I’ve always liked a challenge and to shake things up a bit. Just as Jesus said when he was tempted by the Devil while wandering in the wilderness, “Back the fuck off yo, I’ve got this. LOL. :-)” (Matthew 4:10)

Top Eargasms of 2012: Hot Listening XXX Action

In case you didn't hear, the year we call "2012" is going to end soon. And we'll either be combusted in some hot apocalyptic mess on December 21 or even worse, we will have to endure something called "2013."

To take your mind off of the incessant guessing of which shitty fate you will soon endure, I have compiled a list of all the best non-shitty music parts of my 2012. These albums and listening moments have really made the year a good one, and it is my hope you will find this interesting to read and hear, or at least more enjoyable than being eviscerated by a Mayan calendar god.

Top Albums of 2012:

1. echolyn – echolyn

After waiting 10 billion years for their follow-up to The End Is Beautiful, I was a bit nervous to hear this release as I wasn't sure if the time between albums (and the time it took to make this album) would either produce an over-worked disjointed mess or a carefully-worked seamless masterpiece. I am so glad the latter is true. Every song is a favorite and this is one of those really rare albums that goes beyond the emotional to the visceral: 7:45 onwards in "Some Memorial" is a silent scream while falling through the center of the Earth. Ray Weston's heart wrenching lyrics and vocals always seem to bring my tiny black heart to the surface, but on this album that beautiful sadness shines brighter than ever. UGH, I'm such a girl. Here is the first track, "Island" which features a very kick-ass bass line by Tom Hyatt which I will be turning into a ringtone very soon:

2. Anathema – Weather Systems 

Anathema was one of those bands I've been hearing about for years and putting on that never-ending "Gotta Check Them Out" list. When I finally did give them a listen this year, my ears punched me in the face for not moving this band to the top of that list sooner. Weather Systems has been in heavy rotation since its release. It is epic and sincerely emotional without being sappy, and just sounds fucking awesome. This is my favorite from the album, "Untouchable (part 1 and 2):"

3. Adam Kromelow Trio – Youngblood 

AK3's debut was another album in heavy rotation throughout the year; which surprised me greatly because I generally do not get along with jazz music, as it has a tendency to make my 3 brain cells very uncomfortable. But Adam and company have been able to go beyond their jazz roots to cultivate a rich listening experience that progressively rocks. They performed in Philly last month and I hope they'll come back again soon and you'll go with me. I'll wear a cocktail dress and we can order grown-up drinks. Here's a video I took of them performing "Black Mambo" from Youngblood: 

4. Marillion – Sounds That Can’t Be Made 

Like with echolyn's latest release, I had the same trepidation about Sounds That Can't Be Made as this was another one with a long wait time. Overall, it is a gorgeous album that has all the drama and power Marillion never fails to deliver, but it is also a very dense album and I am finding difficult to listen to it all at once. (I had the same experience with their album Brave.) The really meaty songs like "Gaza," "Sounds That Can't Be Made" and "Sky Above the Rain" dominate the plate while the lettuce pieces used as dressing like "Montreal" and "Invisible Ink" go untouched. But I know I'll be able to chuck it all down my gullet at once eventually. Really hoping they play all of this album at Marillion Weekend because breathing life into those snack songs usually turns them into the main course. Now I'm fucking starving; here listen to "Power" while I go hunting and gathering:

5. Jason Plumb & The Willing – All is More Than Both 

This album is what I imagine Canada sounds like: poignantly wry, rollocking, endearing and melodic. I just love Love LOVE Jason Plumb's voice. I typically spend my Sunday mornings with it, whether it's with his former band The Waltons or with The Willing. This is the first single from the album featuring a little known Canadian musician named Alex Lifeson:

6. Threshold – March of Progress 

Like Anathema, Threshold was another new discovery of an older band thanks to my friend Jill who is trying to make sure I have enough prog metal in my diet. March of Progress is a strong, solid album and I always think it's too short when it's over. I am really looking forward to them rocking my face off at Celebr8 next year. This is "The Hours"-- a true rock anthem that will kick your ass to the moon, then gently carry you back on the wings of a fire-breathing pegasus:

7. Big Big Train – English Electric Part 1 

This is a really lush album that springs right out of the Shire and finds its way through meadows, low rain clouds, and under your favorite blanket. English Electric Part 1 was my 2012 music comfort food. Very much looking forward to snuggling up to Part 2. Rest ye weary heads on this sick bass line for awhile: 

8. Chiddy Bang – Breakfast 

Breakfast is the 1st full album by Chiddy Bang that follows their completely infectious EP The Preview. This was my go-to "dancing-in-the-living-room-because-I'm-too-old-and-tired-to-go-to-clubs-now" album and I think it will be for a long time. And did you know they are from Philly and met in my hood at Drexel University? Of course you did or maybe not. This track is the first single from Breakfast (because I know you love 90s hip-hop video + Blues Brothers parodies):

And this track is from both The Preview and Breakfast...this is a desert-island song; it's "Philly invincible":

9. RPWL – Beyond Man and Time 

I became familiar with RPWL after seeing them perform at RoSfest a few years ago and although they gave an outstanding performance, I thought their albums were a bit a bit green and that with time, they will just click....well with Beyond Man and Time they have clicked into full bloom. It is a wonderful album that builds on their unique sound but with a greater listening depth. I am excited to see what they do next and happy to keep listening to this album in the meantime. This is the best prog-pop song of 2012; this should be a radio hit: 

10. Gazpacho – March of Ghosts 

This album was on repeat for a long time after its release, then it fell off my musical radar and then just recently I fell back into it again. Like most servings of Gazpacho, it is melancholy and dark at times but there is also a hopeful light. This album is haunting, gorgeous, and imaginative. I want to be this album. Let this one saunter into your ears... 

If you haven't passed out from boredom or have absolutely nothing better to do, I invite you to consider more sexy music from 2012....

Top 5 Albums Released In 2011 But Took Me Until 2012 To Listen To Them:
1. Gosta Berlings Saga – Glue Works
2. Sean Filkins – War and Peace & Other Short Stories
3. Druckfarben – Druckfarben
4. Hello Seahorse! – Lejos, No Tan Lejos
5. Discipline – To Shatter All Accord

Best non-2012 Album Discovery: Rufus featuring Chaka Khan -- how did I not have this album immediately upon birth?! I can't get enough of it; I now usually start my day listening to "Circles"

Best Concert: Amplifier & Anathema at Trix Hall, Antwerp

Best Festival: Celebr8, and not just because it allowed me to escape my un-air-conditioned apartment during the worst Philly heat wave of 2012. I shot this video of Tinyfish strapped to the roof in order to avoid touching the floor:




Best Mix CD: a homemade 1990’s hip-hop mix Kristin found in a rental car while on a business trip.

What My Ears Most Anticipate for 2013 (If We Are Not Eviscerated By A Mayan Calendar God): 

• Amplifier – Echo Street 
• Shineback – Rise Up Forgotten, Return Destroyed (solo project by Simon Godfrey of Tinyfish) 
• Anything being thrown up by Alpha Flood and Boy Pierce 
• Marillion Weekend in Port Zelande 

So there you go -- the soundtrack to my 2012. Let me know what your favorites are before time runs out....Here's hoping for more great music in the next year or the next life. 

Time for a change

The days are getting shorter, the temperature is dropping leaves brown and gold onto the sidewalks and lawns of Philly, and I am dropping *2* Celexas into a double whiskey. What a wonderful time of year, much better than Summer in my humble opinion. So, hello there Autumn and fuck you Summer, you can go migrate up my ass and eat my bile you fucking steampile of rotten vomit juice.

I love many things about this time of year, especially as it signals the beginning of beard season and the end of swoob season. I love the sharp sun during the day, the smell of burnt offerings coming from the fireplaces of pyromaniac Tony Banks worshippers at night, and the fact that all children are being held captive in education-like camps for the next 10 months.  

BUT there is one thing that I really do not love so much about Autumning and that is shapeshifting into a grizzly bear.

See, the combination of my falling serotonin levels with the Earth spinning out of control around our 4 suns triggers this sac of neurons in my ass's brain that makes me to morph into a grizzly. It's really that simple. 

And I know what you are thinking -- that is awesome, I wish I could be more like Beorn! But sadly, I am not awesome like Beorn and my futon doesn't turn into The Carrock, and I don't jam my fists up orc asshole everyday. I know, how fucking lame.

Instead, I look like this.

Shhhh...I'm having a lovely dream about eating the insides of a New Jersey Diner

The transformation follows the same pattern every year:

1. Meld long-sleeved shirt onto skin.

2. Eat 3 bags microwaved pop-corn while watching Shawshank Redemption for the billionth time on TNT.

3. Drink hot cocoa out of a mug the size of a fishbowl.

4. Growl at football.

5. Order takeout that could feed a family of 4 and consume it in under 15 minutes.

6. Add a hoodie that is 4x too big to keep only the smallest amount of self-esteem intact. 

7. Swallow every form of carbohydrate in the apartment.

8. Apply yoga pants that will not even be considered for any exercise until January 1 at the earliest.

9. Sleep. Then sleep some more.

10. Hide under blankets stained with carbohydrates.

11. Repeat step 5, 7, 9  and 10 about 15 times a day.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a hot buttery date with Mr. Andy Dufresne.